April 28, 2014
Howdy fambam! How was y'alls week? HOW WAS THE CONCERT? OMH Courtney Anne your hair looked so cute! GOOD LUCK TO LUCY SCHOLL WITH YOUR CONCERT!!! XOXO
Soooo THE CASTANOVA'S CAME TO CHURCH. We bribed them and said we were singing...like it might not have been the best song of my life but hey, they came. They were late and so we didn't see them until we were standing up there to sing and I straight up felt like a groom seeing his bride walk down the isle. I ABOUT DIED. TRUE LOVE AND HAPPINESS RIGHT THERE FOLKS.
Gjet took us on a workout..."today I preach the word girls.." she is so funny! and she said once she gets back from her trip to Colorado that she wants to be committed. I JUST LOVE HER.
PRISCILLA AND HEATH ARE SET FOR JUNE 21ST! more stories for next week :)
I'm learning that I am happy when I'm around those that I love. I was simply happy at the Cerna's when we were eating together. I was happy when I was painting Dorothy's (a women at the nursing home) nails. I was happy when I was sitting on Jmillz's, couch watching Mormon messages with her to strengthen her testimony. I was happy when I was with those individuals because I LOVE them. Therefore, I need to LOVE all of those around me so I can always be happy and help others to find happiness.
I am so thankful for trials. I've had some thrown at me the last three weeks...to the point that I was an orange missionary on the stress test. I'm still a smidge in a little, but I feel like it's going away. I know what I need to work on and what one of the most important things for me to take home from my mission is and I can now see the steps to take to becoming a better me. These last three weeks have been probably the hardest ones on my mission. I wasn't happy about anything. I had no motivation. I felt like a zombie. I still would try to work hard and do all I could to help others...but I wasn't myself or feeling up to it. I felt like I was going in circles and going to be doing the same thing over...and over...and over again. Well after a bawling breakdown at a member's home and a priesthood blessing I was a tiny bit better, but nothing incredible. I've been so stressed to the point that at night I would wake up in the middle of the night and say, "all you have to do is go back to sleep...that is the only thing you have to do" or "all you have to do is mop her floor.." I was having to break down things so tiny or else I would start to crack. I've always loved to say I LOVE BEING A MISSIONARY! but this last little bit I haven't. I was going through the motions and trying my hardest to endure to the end because I knew I needed to--not because I wanted to--and being a missionary was anything but fun.
It's in this rut where I started studying prayer more. and gratitude. and service. Service has saved my life! When we were helping organize or clean or anything really--I was focused on others and not my stressful "woe is me" thoughts. Turning outward and listening with love has helped so much. I now notice the little blessings and miracles that Heavenly Father puts in my path and I acknowledge them more.
I'm no where near close to becoming my potential but I have hope now. It's possible through the atonement. Ether 12:6 has helped me a lot. I know my trial isn't quite over and I know I will have many more...but I've learned so much. I love my Heavenly Father. He believes in me and as I continue to pray to Him, I am strengthened. It's been hard...but I'm happy. I've learned so much about myself through this one hard spot and I could only have learned it here. So I guess that means...that I LOVE BEING A MISSIONARY.
I love y'all! eat a cupcake for me.